ginger_firebird | you better run, better run (Nexus Side-Story / OTA)

There was a lot of soil. It smelled vaguely of death, but he had hauled enough ass though the Nexus to afford no small number of large planters, small planters, planters that had been mercilessly duct taped together so that they fit together to hold more soil… The largest were obviously going to be on the roof. He had a tarp laid out to catch excess soil as he went about tearing open bag and tipping them out. Step one was always preparing the space, then getting the dirt settled, then water, then seeds… It was brutally hot, but it had to get done.

There was a lot of time to think in the Nexus. He’s still wound up by the Doctor and what he had said. So he had read minds without permission. So what? He stopped people who were murderers and worse. It was a gift deep in his blood and impossible to get rid of and yet the old man acted like it was something that could have been taken away with the right tools. He couldn’t even fully control it, even now. If he took his mask off, every damn whisper came in, so it wasn’t even his most useful power at times. He had moved machines larger and heavier than some of the largest animals without even trying. Still could.

Then when did that go wrong? Was it Skull Face? The KGB? FBI? Somewhere he started to slip and get bitter and angry and he stopped caring like he used to. He sighed and leaned on a shovel he had brought up with him. People died because of him in the past. Good people. Bad people. People who were in a wrong crowd. He got okay with that, sought it out, and lived it as his whole world. Liquid wanted that of him and he fed into that relationship like it was nothing.

So what went wrong? Was he that depressed and bitter about it? Absolutely, but it felt like more than that. Mantis looked around at the planters and the unopened potting soil and sighed. He flicked one hand vaguely and a CD player started blasting music from the rooftop of his apartment building. He bobbed his head a little and laid down right by the edge, getting a good look at the ground from where his head and an arm dangled over a little. The shovel hung lazily in mid-air and did an awkward dance as he flicked his fingers and hand around.

“At what point does violently lashing out stop being trauma and start becoming a personality?”

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

chiaro_oscuro

"So, it looks like we're neighbors after all. That's a fine garden you're setting up. You're growing food?"

Ben had promised Mantis that he would come and visit for housewarming, so he came along. He hadn't needed to use his powers to recognize the similarities between them. He listens to the question, his expression turning more sober.

"You know, sometimes I ask myself the same thing. When I look at how it all began, I didn't want to kill people at first. But I did. It got easier as time went on, and I was good at it. My anger and my pain were taken out on others for years and years. I'm trying not to be the same person I was then, but it's something I worry about." He takes a seat, sizing up the apartment. "I was told it was a disrespect to my powers to use them casually, though I'll admit I don't understand why."

From:

ginger_firebird

"You talked me up to looking into this area and here I am. There's more inside the apartment for things like herbs. Right now, I'm just..." Mantis sighs loudly and doesn't rise from his prone position. The shovel dances up to the roof again and settles down. So there really was a lot he had in common with Ben.

"That might just be how it goes when you're forced to kill to defend from a young age. It desensitizes you in a bad way and you can't really stop yourself." He sits up a little and lets his arms rest on his lap. "At first it was self defense and being forced to do it, but at some point I did it because I wanted to. I can't remember when the change happened anymore."

From:

chiaro_oscuro

"People here seem to be understanding. I think there are a few people here, like us, who did things in their worlds they aren't exactly proud of. Whatever you did in your world, I won't judge you. I'm the last person who should be judging anybody." Ben's not good at comforting people, but he's making an honest effort. "The Nexus is a good place to think about these things."

"Welcome to the neighborhood, then." He shuffles, making space for Mantis to join him. "Sometimes I meet people here who are like me, or how I used to be. They're making my mistakes. I feel some sympathy for them, even if I know they won't return it. I wouldn't have back when I was at my worst - I thought love and compassion were a weakness."

From:

ginger_firebird

Mantis doesn't mind being judged. It's when the judgement comes from within that it rattles him and makes him feel doubts. He nods quietly as Ben speaks. He needed someone who didn't mind that he had a history riddled with violent choices. "You won't find it from me, either. Before I died, I met someone who thought he was above his violent actions because he did them for a greater good. People like that never understand others like us."

Mantis moves to sit closer to Ben, but still minds to keep some space between them. "I still don't know if I want to deal with love or compassion. It isn't that I can't feel them, but they're so...alien. I think there's all of two people I have ever met that I can spare such feelings for."

Edited Date: 2020-06-29 02:53 am (UTC)

From:

chiaro_oscuro

"I won't say I'm above violence myself - there are times when it's necessary, and not everyone will listen to reason - but I'm trying not to use it as my first solution to a problem." Ben shrugs a little. "I'm a little wary around the heroes here, because I'm not one of them. Though I'd be willing to play the part if there was trouble here."

He gives Mantis his space out of respect. "My feelings were twisted for a long time. I felt the things you're talking about, but I thought I had to crush them and kill them. I'm trying to learn a new way of doing things. Still...there are only a few people here I'd call my friends. I don't give my trust lightly, but I consider you one of them." Ben decides to change the subject to something a little brighter. "You mentioned mincemeat pie the last time we talked. What do you say about something to eat?"

From:

ginger_firebird

"I still have problems with that. Maybe that makes me impatient." He huffs quietly with laughter. "Fighting never got me anything but more trouble. That's where things must have gone wrong. I stopped people in the moment, but then I had a reputation to live up to, and people don't believe you when you try to tell them that defending yourself is different from seeking to cause violence."

Mantis perks up hearing Ben call him a friend, only to relax more as he finishes the thought. Meat pie might be a nice way to cool off and get some energy. He stands up, dusting off his clothes as he does so. It sounded so familiar when Ben spoke of the lack of trust in others. Mantis himself only had one real friend in life who lasted to the very end. "Work can wait a little longer. I might just finish this all at night with how the heat is."

From:

chiaro_oscuro

"Patience isn't my strong suit, either. I still think that, if something went wrong here, I'd be interested in helping - but I worry that I might make things worse. I'm frankly glad I wasn't there when we were fighting the Fallen, for one thing, or that I wasn't on the team to hunt down the poisoner who was selling poisoned alcohol in the Nexus a while back. I'm...not a good team player."

Ben smiles slightly, but it's sincere. "That's a good idea. Some dinner might help us feel better - you know, I've never had meat pie before. As I said before, though, I'm not a picky eater." He figured most of his other friends were busy with their own lives, but he's been to visit Galahad and Beelzebub. "I'll have some, and tell you what I think."

From:

ginger_firebird

"Sounds like there's no shortage of trouble, even in a place like this." Mantis gets up slowly, dusting off his pants. "A group called the Fallen and poisoned alcohol... Is it never enough for everyone to calm down? Someone always has to start some kind of mess."

Not that he's one to talk, being someone who absolutely started messes in the past, but he had as much a right to complain as anyone else. "You'll like the way I do it. I make them small so they cook faster. All it takes is some spiced meat and a crust on top to keep it all in. He beckons for Ben to follow. "Should have something to drink that will go well with it."

From:

chiaro_oscuro

"The Fallen are still around." Ben shrugs as he joins Mantis in standing. "I feel a little sorry for them. They're a dying people, struggling to survive where they're from, and I imagine violence is what they're used to. But I also understand that sympathy and understanding doesn't mean they'd show me mercy. Now, the poisoner was a monster plain and simple. I have no sympathy for him. He's dead now, thank the stars."

He doesn't judge most people who aren't actively causing trouble, glass houses and stones, but the Joker is an exception. At least the Fallen had motivations that could be understood and even respected. Poisoning people for the joy of it is a step too far even for the former Kylo Ren.

He follows Mantis's gesture. "I haven't had pie here before, but the way you described it before made me interested. What kind of drinks do you have that I can try? I can do alcoholic or non-alcoholic, though my powers mean I try to keep the former to a reasonable level. The Force and alcohol don't always mix well."

From:

ginger_firebird

"Are they?" Mantis pauses in his step, looking back slightly over his shoulder. "How are we to recognize them? They must have distinct markings." His fingers twitch considering the idea of someone who would even think to try and torment people in a place like this.

"Some people are better off dead. God knows plenty back home wished I were dead."

Mantis heads down the steps from the roof towards his apartment. The earthy smell lingers, even indoors. He unlocks one of the apartment doors and leaves the door open once he steps inside. The apartment is sparsely decorated for now, but there's a rug on the floor of the living room and a couch on top of it. The table next to it has a small stack of notebooks and a cup filled with markers, pens, and pencils. He darts into the kitchen, scattering a short beaded curtain.

"Have a seat. I'll get us both some water and get started on the filling."

From:

chiaro_oscuro

"They marked their territory with blue banners, carrying the symbol of House Winter. Think insects bigger than humans with glowing eyes, battle armor, and four arms. They're old enemies of the Guardians of the Last City, but they see everyone who isn't one of them as a possible threat. They have cloaking tech that lets them hide and conceal their numbers, so there's a good chance you'd never see one."

Ben wonders if his powers would give him a workaround to cloaking technology, but he's not about to try that out.

He follows Mantis into his apartment, looking around as he enters. "I imagine there aren't too many people mourning me where I'm from, either. But a handful of people there know I'm alive here. We all agreed it's better I live in secret." Ben gives his friend a wry smile. "At least I finally made people happy."

He takes a seat, watching while Mantis gets the water. "Winters can get nasty here, I've heard, so growing your own food is a good idea."

From:

ginger_firebird

Mantis shivers quite visibly to think of giant bugs like that. No thank you. Not a chance. It's bad enough when his enemies are people. The door will close quietly behind Ben, leaving him with further sights such as planters in the windows filled with fresh soil.

"There's only a few people who thought remotely well of me, but they're all as dead as I am." He pulls a pitcher from his fridge and floats two glasses from a cabinet that opened its door on its own. "That said...There's one girl who's still alive that I pay some attention to. She's wrapped in her own world of technology, but it's fascinating to see what she tries to come up with."

A single glass of water makes its way into the living room and settles on the table. With the water taken care of, Mantis removes a small parcel of meat from the fridge and retrieves a somewhat large mixing bowl in addition to a few small bottles. Meat and spices go into the bowl, leaving Mantis free to wash his hands of dirt.

From:

chiaro_oscuro

Ben hesitates to judge the Fallen. He, of all people, can understand how easy and intoxicating it is to lash out at everything around you, and make the world hurt the way you've been hurt. Of course, it doesn't really solve the root problem, but people in that state of mind tend not to be good listeners. He hadn't been.

"There's one person here who thought well of me at the end. You might meet her, if you stick around me long enough. Her powers are very similar to mine." There are Ben's parents, too, but he's cautious around them. He doesn't want them to know who he is for their sakes.

He settles down to wait for the pie, letting the water settle. Ben's not very thirsty, but it'll go well with the meal proper. He remembers the Doctor scolding him for using his powers casually - he was a little confused, since it wasn't causing any harm. Where he would have been surprised to see someone with Force-like powers as a new arrival, he's adjusted to it now.

you better run, better run (Nexus Side-Story / OTA)

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