you better run, better run (Nexus Side-Story / OTA)

[ginger_firebird]

There was a lot of soil. It smelled vaguely of death, but he had hauled enough ass though the Nexus to afford no small number of large planters, small planters, planters that had been mercilessly duct taped together so that they fit together to hold more soil… The largest were obviously going to be on the roof. He had a tarp laid out to catch excess soil as he went about tearing open bag and tipping them out. Step one was always preparing the space, then getting the dirt settled, then water, then seeds… It was brutally hot, but it had to get done.

There was a lot of time to think in the Nexus. He’s still wound up by the Doctor and what he had said. So he had read minds without permission. So what? He stopped people who were murderers and worse. It was a gift deep in his blood and impossible to get rid of and yet the old man acted like it was something that could have been taken away with the right tools. He couldn’t even fully control it, even now. If he took his mask off, every damn whisper came in, so it wasn’t even his most useful power at times. He had moved machines larger and heavier than some of the largest animals without even trying. Still could.

Then when did that go wrong? Was it Skull Face? The KGB? FBI? Somewhere he started to slip and get bitter and angry and he stopped caring like he used to. He sighed and leaned on a shovel he had brought up with him. People died because of him in the past. Good people. Bad people. People who were in a wrong crowd. He got okay with that, sought it out, and lived it as his whole world. Liquid wanted that of him and he fed into that relationship like it was nothing.

So what went wrong? Was he that depressed and bitter about it? Absolutely, but it felt like more than that. Mantis looked around at the planters and the unopened potting soil and sighed. He flicked one hand vaguely and a CD player started blasting music from the rooftop of his apartment building. He bobbed his head a little and laid down right by the edge, getting a good look at the ground from where his head and an arm dangled over a little. The shovel hung lazily in mid-air and did an awkward dance as he flicked his fingers and hand around.

“At what point does violently lashing out stop being trauma and start becoming a personality?”

Comments

[chiaro_oscuro]

"She might not be from my world, but I wish her luck. I've got more experience in breaking things than fixing them, but I'd like to give fixing them a try. It's never to late to learn something new."


"Believe it or not, my personality's better than it used to be." Ben cracks a small smile. "Considerably. I had the temper of a venomous snake and next to none of the control. But I do have things in common with my father. I'm an expert pilot and a good shot, and I don't consider it bragging when you can back it up."

The smile becomes bigger. "I knew I liked you for a reason. While I don't destroy things the way I used to now that I've learned restraint, I do enjoy showing off. And I'll show you what I can do. Besides, my goal is that the pie will all end up in the same place anyway."

[ginger_firebird]

"She doesn't need luck so much as she needs protecting. Every other time I hear noise from her end of the family tree, she's built another robot that someone either wants to steal or destroy. Not bad for a teenager, but she has no sense of when to slow down and her father is just trying to teach her to be a little more social."

He laughs low in his chest. "I should show you what I was like before I died. Neck deep in psychosis and anger issues, out to hurt everyone for no reason at all... Now I know what happened, but it still bothers me to think I became so...feral. More so then I was as a child."

He lifts his legs up slightly and uses the momentum to get up from the couch. "Let's see what the progress is like on that pie. It's starting to smell edible."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"That's one of the problems with power. If you have it, other people will want to take it from you, or use it for their own benefit. The Nexus is better about that, probably because there are so many powerful people here." Ben's aware the Nexus has dangers, but nothing truly large-scale has happened since he arrived - which he's more than fine with.

"No wonder we get along. The words you used could've easily described me. I was a terror. That's one of the reasons self-control's important to me - my attitude's better than it was, but you haven't seen me when I'm angry."

His eyes brighten, and he sniffs the air. "Let's see how it's coming along. It certainly smells like it's good."

[ginger_firebird]

"She's learning that the hard way, but there are enough adults around her who have been through that before to one degree or another that she's fairly well protected. The greatest risk she faces is creating a machine that learns too well on it's own." All the same, he will keep his eye on the living. Eventually they're all going to end up where he did.

"Being mentally unhinged isn't an excuse, but it is an explanation for what happens to turn people into something monstrous. It's part of why I don't go out of my way to seek forgiveness from anyone."

He pauses at the beads separating kitchen and living room. "I'm going to have you at my door for every meal that I make, aren't I?"

[chiaro_oscuro]

"There isn't an excuse for what I did. There's an explanation, but not an excuse. I could have made different choices, even if it didn't seem that way at the time - and if I'd made a better choice earlier it would have saved everyone a lot of pain. There were several points in my life where I could have made the right decision, and I didn't."

If Ben was confronted in the Nexus about his past, he'd probably just stand and take it. It's what he deserves, and there are some things - like patricide and murder - that apologies simply will never be enough for. Only a few people know about the murder of his father, for example, and he figures Han has friends here. That could get awkward fast.

He smirks when Mantis asks the question. "Consider it a compliment if you do have me at your door. It means I like your food."

[ginger_firebird]

“You gained awareness. It’s hard enough to find that when you’re still alive. People like us always seem to find it just after we end up on the other side of life.”

In the kitchen, Mantis puts on a pair of mitts to open the oven and see about what’s become of the meat pie. Ben might get hit with a sense of warm air and a strong scent of meat. A wire rack comes out of hiding from a cabinet as Mantis sets the pie down to have a look at it. He taps at the crust with a spoon before fishing out a box of toothpicks from a drawer. Ben might recognize some of what he does as tests for the overall condition of the food.

“You’re worse than a cat. I’ll have to set out a dish for you every time you come over.”

[chiaro_oscuro]

"It put things into perspective, I'll say that much. Even after death, I've had the chance to think things over. Think about my life, where it went wrong, what I want to become now."

Ben immediately snaps to attention when he sees the pie. It's pretty obvious from the greed in his eyes that he's thinking about the most efficient way to transfer it from the table to his stomach as soon as he can. But he waits for Mantis to test it first. He'll be able to dig in soon enough. He's not exactly known for his patience. He satisfies himself with appreciating the smell. Delicious - he can't wait to taste that meat for himself.

"You don't have to. I'd appreciate it all the same, though."

[ginger_firebird]

"All I would suggest is to think about what your biggest problems were with others in life and endeavor to become the kind of person who wouldn't cause them."

The toothpicks come out clean in several spots and Mantis calmly sets them floating between his palms before they suddenly catch fire and burn to ashes that are quickly discarded in the trash. Mantis hovers one finger over the pie and draws four lines across it, his psychic powers creating eight slices fit for eating. The steam rises even more and releases more of the meaty scent.

"Second cabinet that way." He points to the cabinet and the door rattles slightly. "Get us two plates and I'll get the forks."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"It's a little reassuring to know I'm not the only - what's the saying - garbage fire in the Nexus."

Ben is impressed by Mantis's powers every time he sees them. His own powers are strong and growing stronger, and in some ways may have their advantages, but he doesn't have Mantis's control over fire.

While it's very tempting to go ahead and grab a slice, Ben nods and gets up, returning with two plates as instructed. That meat does smell good, just breathing the scent in. He waits for Mantis to serve them properly. "They smell good," he says while waiting for the forks. "I owe you something from my home galaxy in thanks. Not now, but at some point in the near future."

[ginger_firebird]

Mantis braces himself against the counter because it's the only way he's not going to completely lose himself laughing. His body shakes a lot and he has to take several quick breaths to calm himself down.

"Yeah. I- That's about right for me. Never- Ben, you didn't have to say that with a straight face. That makes it so much more powerful."

But yes, he's going to calm himself down some and take the plates. A drawer opens and releases two forks into the air while he secures a slice for them both. Even the filling looks pretty damn good if he's a judge of his own cooking. At last, his mask comes up and out of the way, revealing his mouth and the scars as he goes for his first bite.

"Feel free to eat as much as you want. I can make more."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"Don't worry about it." The other man gives a quick laugh. "It takes one to know one. And if it's any comfort to us I've found we aren't the worst. There are people here who are in a worse place than we are."

Once he's given permission to eat, Ben eagerly pounces. He accepts his own slice of pie and takes a bite, then another. In the quiet, Mantis can probably hear the sounds of Ben chewing, punctuated by the occasional satisfied gulp. Judging from the light in his eyes, Ben likes the taste.

He sighs in satisfaction once he's done with the slice, giving Mantis his review. "Ah. That's delicious. I'll have another."

[ginger_firebird]

"Oh, undoubtedly. I've controlled the minds and bodies of those far worse for wear than I was. I even met a few when I was still a child."

Mantis sits back and watches Ben eat, barely taking a few bites compared to the ravenous way that Ben eats. It's like a dog that hasn't had a bite to eat all day. In spite of his hesitation to even so much as consider another person's desires, Mantis feels himself compelled to cook more and see how far that stomach can take Ben.

"Go to." The pie slides closer to Ben. "Do you ever eat? You're all but inhaling this thing."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"I did eat - though I wasn't one for personal indulgences, and food wasn't a priority for me. I ate because I had to, not for pleasure."

Once he's given permission Ben pounces on the slice of pie, and it's gone in a few bites - following the first piece down the former Kylo Ren's gullet. If it hadn't been for the crumbs, it would have seemed like it had never been there. Ben licks his lips. Judging from his expression, he knows what to do next. Mantis's instincts are right. He's very much still hungry.

"I don't know about you, but I think I can find the room for the rest of that pie."

[ginger_firebird]

"You clearly don't eat enough. You need to stop thinking of them as rations and vitamins and think of portion sizes. Clearly there is a gaping hole between your esophagus and gut that needs filling."

Really, Ben. It's not that hard to eat to be full. Mantis was never one to think of himself as an old man of his people, but you're making him think he should have made something more substantial than a simple meat pie. Something fried, maybe. A little cheburiki...

"Have at it. Please. I'm slightly irritated by how hungry you've left yourself."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"I can see the appeal of personal pleasures now, of course - and a good meal's one of them." With the way he eats, it would have been as if the pie disappeared completely. He settles down to the work of getting the whole thing, slice after slice, comfortably down his neck.

It isn't long before that work's done and the meat pie's completely inside Ben Solo, Ben relaxing with a smirk and rubbing a belly that's bulging slightly under the dark robes. He feels pretty full, though he's sure he could find space for a little more if he tried.

"Ah, that was delicious." Ben yawns. "Have some room for dessert."

[ginger_firebird]

The inner grandmother Mantis developed as a wee lad is still mildly horrified at how Ben would just...eat. There was little in the way of pause or concern for being overstuffed or eating too much. It made him wonder if Ben could cook at all if this was his reaction to a relatively small meat pie.

"Forgive me, I'll have to see if I have anything that would be a suitable dessert." He's still just staring a bit at Ben, really. "Are you actually still hungry?"

[chiaro_oscuro]

Ben sighs in satisfaction as he gets himself comfortable. He can cook, but he isn't the best at it, and he's also not used to preparing his own meals. Mantis's meals are better at the moment than anything he could make. Aside from the young Solo's belly, an empty tin, and a few scattered crumbs, there's no trace of pie left.

"Yes, I am." Ben straightens a little. "Don't worry, I'm open to pretty much anything. Then, once I've finished dessert, I'll let my digestion handle the rest."

[ginger_firebird]

Mantis stands properly and stretches backwards, popping a few joints as he braces his lower back with his hands. Even cracking a few knuckles was something he didn't think he'd miss. He has a look around, figuring a little dessert wouldn't be amiss for himself, either.

"Maybe I have something... Do we do a more western dessert or eastern?" He goes right over to the fridge, opening the freezer section first. "Ice. Vegetable medly. Raspberries, blueberries..."

He closes the freezer and opens the fridge instead, humming a little as he thought. "How do you feel about buttered toast and fresh jam?"

[chiaro_oscuro]

Ben's on his feet, watching Mantis look through the fridge. He's not particularly fussy about what he wants to eat, and everything appeals to him. Even the vegetables, since he doesn't have too much of a sweet tooth. He's mulling over what he wants while Mantis is examining the freezer.

But when Mantis makes his suggestion, he gladly agrees. He's wanted to try jam - he's had enough of it at the Crossroads Cafe to know what it's like. It doesn't take long for him to agree to the idea.

"Buttered toast and jam sound good. I'll have a couple of slices."

[ginger_firebird]

Mantis can be quite fussy when it comes to what he wants to eat. He pulls out a container of strawberries and hands it over to Ben.

"Wash these for me. There's slots in the container, so just keep it closed and shake it up under water. We're going to need to slice them up before they can be cooked."

Once he's sure Ben is well and over to the sink, Mantis switches to grabbing a pot to set on the stove and a bag of sugar from the pantry. After that came a wooden spoon and a knife.

"Jam is a simple thing. Equal parts fruit and sugar cooked at a high heat."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"I'm working on learning how to cook - a lot of what I eat comes from Nexus restaurants. That might have to change in the near future. Can't live off of takeout and the kindness of strangers."

Ben gives a jerky nod and obeys, washing the strawberries as Mantis asked. Once that's done he comes back over to join his friend.

He's watching Mantis to learn how the process is done, so he can try to do it later himself. It doesn't seem difficult at all, so he'll try it later.

Then he clears his throat. "All right. what do we do next?"

[ginger_firebird]

"Cook books tend to teach well. Find the one that works best and go from there. Most of my ideas about cooking start with Slavic sensibilities."

Ben might notice that the knife in question is a bit more combat than kitchen. Mantis leaves it on the plate on the counter and goes right to the stove to grab a cooking pot. A cabinet rattles and opens, releasing a bag of sugar.

"Cut the tops off of the strawberries, then cut them in half, and cut them further into quarters. It doesn't have to be precise, but it will help if it is."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"I'm sure I can find some cookbooks that I can use in the library, you know. I spend enough time there."

Ben certainly notices that - knives aren't necessarily his weapon of choice, he tends to be more theatrical in battle, but he knows Mantis's world has different kinds of weapons. He's generally not much for stealth unless he needs to be, preferring the shock and awe approach.

He follows the instructions he's given, cutting the strawberries as Mantis asked him to, then looks up once they're in quarters. He's managed to do it precisely, much to his satisfaction.

[ginger_firebird]

"It's good to have one or two to keep. Library books need to be brought back eventually."

Mantis only ever does sneaking and surprising, but he still knows how to stab someone effectively. There's no sense in not knowing how to kill someone in every way that might be avilable to you with the kind of life he led.

A fair bit of sugar sits in the pot and Mantis crosses over to have a look at the strawberry slices. "Good. Come bring this over to the pot. Tip in everything but the stems and then set the flame going. You're going to stir the jam."

[chiaro_oscuro]

"They do - and I want to stay welcome at the Grand Library."

Ben obediently follows the instructions Mantis gave. As he lights the flame, he wonders what Rey would make of this if she could see him at work.

"You know, I'm surprised I'm not putting on weight after a few visits. But I have an active lifestyle - probably helps with my digestion. Give me a few hours and this bulge will be gone."

Even former Supreme Leaders have to eat, and Mantis is right that it's better to make his own meals than to mooch off of strangers. Still, company's half of the reason Ben comes to visit.